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Line after line,
      I wonder why I keep this up,
Line after line,
      I just cross them off the page.

How many more lines till I know it for sure,
      When will you tell me I failed?
How many more lines till I know,
      I can’t even make this one work.

I’m slipping away,
      Loosing touch with my own soul,
I’m slipping away once more,
      Out of reach of my own damned soul.

How many times do I have to lie,
      When will I be done lying to myself…

Go ahead and sweep me under the carpet,
      I’m just some unwanted trash that you can’t stand to see,
Don’t smile and say it will be okay,
      I fail even where I excel.

I can never make it past the cliff,
      I’m just a bag of broken bones upon the floor…

I’ll force this out once more,
      Watching as tears stain my skin,
I’m forcing these lines that came so clearly before,
      Why have you forsaken me?

I’ve been your voice for so long now,
      But when I need you to lead me on… you’ve gone away…

Please can’t you see I’m on my knees here praying,
      Can my voice no longer pierce the silence.

I feel like I’m naked in the desert,
      Alone with this storm brewing over me,
I feel the chill of the desert night upon my skin,
      I keep screaming, but I can’t hear a sound.

Why have you forsaken me,
      If this is a test… it will be the death of me.

I watch all my hopes fall to the ground,
      The knife looks just right again,
I watch all my dreams slip away,
      I can no longer stand on my own two feet…

My battle cry has died away,
      I’m slowly giving up inside,
I don’t know how to keep this up much longer…
      Maybe she can save me once more.

Let the breath fill my lungs once more,
      I hate drowning above the waves,
Give me one more shot of adrenaline,
      Maybe then I’ll be able to stand again.

I feel my heart stop once more,
      I feel my lungs fail to grow,
My mind simply drags on with ideal nothingness…
      How many times have I thought to play in traffic again.

Its been so long since I thought these thoughts inside,
      I forgot how I learned to fight them before,
Just answer my prayer once again,
      …At least to explain why you’ve left me behind.

©Jonathon William Dell a.k.a. Jonathon Scarlet
‘The Black Hearted Poet.’